she's 1 of my fren in utm that actually knows me.. we kinda have a thing in the past..a little..hahaha.. smtimes an angel comes not like what u expected =)
yess..i hv too many rules which restrains myself from involving with anything in this world..i'd made it myself..since i was little.. i saw what others did to others.. i heard what people said about others.. having some rules which helps me to separate myself from doing what others were doing seems to be fair enough..
unfortunately..when u bound urself with those rules for too long..u'll eventually loose ur feelings.. u can't tell when is the right time to do things when u suppose to do.. u cant tell that this is love..that is sad.. this is okay..that is reasonable..
1 of my rule is being patient..
i saw what my dad did when he lost his temper.. what he did to me..to mom.. therefore i'd created a circle around me.. never to loose patient in whatsoever condition.. end up i can even speak for my right.. it's always like 'dat's ok'.. or 'nevermind'.. i'm not scared.. it's juz smtimes i dun wanna mess my head with smting that's not so important.. small misunderstandings blablabla.. i'm not scared..i'd broke the rule once..end up beating 3guys and the school had me suspended for 10days..hahahaha..
other example..being nice to others
mom always remind me.. be good with others..take care their feelings.. dun u follow like ur dad..control ur temper.. so yeah..i've always put my frends needs ahead from my own needs.. as long as others happy..i'm fine with it.. no matter what mom do..i'll follow her.. then comes osya n said 'u got to give urself a chance Nep...' she's so like a mom..hahaha..
sex and women..
they r my rules too..hahahaha!! i dun hv a gf because of that rule.. i say..never touch a girl.. the next thing..i dun stalk on gurls..i dun stalk their butts or boobs.. 1 thing led to another..now i dun feel anything for them.. ain will say 'ko cpt horny la nep!!' yeap..if it is a conversation about sex.. but in real world.. picking up gurls..then no..i'm not that horny..i do feel the needs to have smone smtimes..but~~~ juz a thin feeling..a moment thought like 'ad gf pown mcm best..hehehe' then after 1 day i totally forgot about it.. i'm single for 10years now (but my heart is always there..muahaha)..how cool is dat!!! naaaaahh..it sux..
i'm trying to hold back my rules.. give myself a chance to enjoy things around me.. i've always thought that these rules will help to create a perfect me..but no..
nobody's perfect..
rules are meant to be broken..
we cant be perfect because there's no fun in being perfect..
if u merge their meanings.. it will say :
An imperfect person will break the rules juz to have fun.. how bout that..i've made it up myself..cool rite??
